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Anyone who ever uses two DSLR's at the same time knows that figuring out a good way to stow that second camera is a challenge. I've scoured the internet, and found a few good ideas, from actual gun style holsters, hip bags, body sling mounts, and special straps. Some kind of cool, some ridiculously goofy. After a bit of thinking though, I realized that I could probably just as easily buy a few parts and pave my own way, DIY style.
My epiphany came when i realized that there already existed the perfect connecting mechanism for camera bodies... tripod base plates. So after a little research, I was lead to the Manfrotto 323 RC2 Rapid Connect Adapter with 200PL-14 Quick Release Plate. This crazy invention has it all, a quick locking mechanism so that you can snap the camera onto the tripod quickly, and a safety latch to keep you from accidentally unhooking your camera.
The main problem to overcome, was how to adapt this to a vertically oriented belt attachment. My particular solution to this was pretty simple. I bought an old leather belt from the Goodwill Store down the street, cut it up and put a screw through the belt and into the base. There's already a screw hole there that you're supposed to use when attaching to a tripod, so the only real issue was finding a short screw that fit the threads. All done, I was left with my new holster with a leather loop for my belt.
Provided that the leather doesn't rip (it's pretty thick), there's very little chance of this thing falling apart. And it's not like the camera's going to rotate around the mount enough times to unscrew itself.
And some more pictures of my new holster in action.
Notice the latch next to my thumb. It's really easy to reach, and perfect for keeping me from dropping/breaking the camera.
In the end, this project was an exercise in compromise. The only way to fully protect a camera is to put in in a case, but cases are bulky. The setup allows a little bit more movement than I'd have liked, but again, anything that would stabilize the camera to my hip would also require a more elaborate rigid framework. All in all, this setup hit enough pros to outweigh the cons.
[UPDATED 09.23.09] So... after a bit of thought, I figured I didn't want to hang (potentially) $5000 worth of gear off this contraption without a bit more reinforcement. I just completed version 2.0 of the Camera Holster. The main addition: a steel plate on the inside. Seeing as it is now physically impossible for the screw head to rip out of the holes in the leather... the only way for everything to fall apart is if both leather straps rip through sideways. I consider the odds of that happening slim, and even if it does, I'll be able to see the rips in progress before things go south... literally. Here's the updated, sleeker, model:
If you were born in the 80's, chances are good that you watched The Neverending Story. And you probably loved it. Now... this may be a case of telling someone telling you not to look down, only to have you look down as a direct result of them telling you... but I'm telling you now, if you have good memories of watching the film as a child, do yourself a favor and never watch it again as an adult.
I made that mistake myself during my time as an undergrad. Everyone knows that one of the greatest perks of dorm life is the easy access to countless movies in neighboring collections. I was making one of my frequent weekend rounds for something to watch when I stumbled upon this "gem" from the good old days. I think my exact response upon finding a copy was "Holy crap! I loved that movie! May I borrow this?"
92 minutes later, I wished I had a time machine... if only to have had the opportunity to go back in time to punch past-me in the face. Hindsight is cruel that way. After two more extremely painful viewings (years later, I might add... you have to give a guy time to recover), I have condensed the bad, so that you don't have to sit through it yourself. (Call it a community service)
Problem 1: Pacing. Or should I say... paaaaacccciiiiiing. Can you say slow? I bet you can't say it as slowly as this movie can. This isn't even Blade Runner slow. This is like 2001: A Space Odyssey slow... or maybe Star Trek: The Motion Picture slow. People talk slow, people move slow, nothing happens quickly. Yes, it was a less rushed era. But it doesn't hold up in today's attention deficit society. Am I still on Problem 1? I've already lost interest.
Problem 2: Acting. In that, it has none. Watching children act on screen is usually painful enough. But there are two of them in this film (three if you count the princess). Both horrifically bad. Noah Hathaway (playing Atreyu) is at least passably painful in his role, but Barret Oliver as Bastian... this guy gives Jake Lloyd a run for his money... and yes, that's a dis. To both of them.
The issue is that these kids have nothing to play against, and, as you'd expect, they overact their pants off. Atreyu loses his horse Artax in the Swamps of Sadness. An emotionally heavy scene, yes. But it happens about half a second after you're introduced to these characters. The raw emotion comes off as really awkward. Bastian is even worse off. 90% of his scenes are reaction shots to events that aren't happening anywhere near him... which is what happens when you steal a book, ditch class, and hide away in a school attic by yourself. His ridiculously overwrought exclamations to no one in particular are nothing short of face-palm inducing. And I have the red palm on my forehead to prove it.
Problem 3: Extremely jarring editing, super-cheese 80's music, and head-scratchingly bad effects. Let's get the editing out of the way first. The film cuts (often) in the middle of crescendos to a completely new scene. Let me repeat that. The music cuts in the middle with the shot! That's not bad editing, that's a mistake. Here's what it feels like to watch this stuff: Imagine you're in the shower, innocently shampooing your hair, whistling an old Beatles song... and a freaking catapult launches you stark naked out your bathroom window and inexplicably into a fiery volcano. Yeah. That's what these cuts are like. As for the synth-heavy music, I suppose you'll have to forgive that... the 80's definitely left its mark on this film. And that's not a compliment.
The effects are all over the board. Some of the practical effects work great, but the rear screen projection and optical effects are pretty sloppy. In some cases, painted backdrops abruptly end within frame, creating distinct lines between locations and props. Canvas set extensions have wrinkles and stretch marks in them for crying out loud. Shame on you Wolfgang Peterson. You've done so much better.
Problem 4: Creepy factor. And this film's got it in spades. What's with the naked statues? Isn't this a children's movie? If anything, it would have gone over better with female sphynx statues sans nipples. Ah the good old days of inconsistent censoring.
But the real gold mine is Falkor, the luck dragon. Or, as I'd call him, Pedophile-dog-creepy-dragon-thingy. Seriously. Falkor is like a dirty old man with a dog's head and pink sequined pimp feux furs. He saves Atreyu in an amazing bit of deus ex machina, after which we see Atreyu waking up from a coma snuggled up next to him (which begs the question of how long this coma cuddle went on for, and begs us not to ask the question of why there was cuddling in the first place). Falkor tells Atreyu that he (verbatim) "loves children" (really), and winks at him multiple times (really). He then asks Atreyu to scratch him behind the ears, like you would a dog, and the look of intense, tongue waggling satisfaction on his face... well, let's just say that I cringed so hard I thought my face would cave in. Falkor's Art Director was probably aiming for cute and endearing. I think he ended up with alarmingly sleazy.
Honestly, I'm sure it was made with good intentions. I'll give it the benefit of a doubt. I'm sure Falkor was written with nothing but innocence. But seriously... that freaking Dragon's a pervert. As my friend Dan (a full grown adult, I might add) said while watching a few of Falkor's scenes: "Whaaaah! I'm gonna have nightmares!" Me too Dan. Me too.
As for a general blanket statement on the whole film, I'll admit, this was probably groundbreaking stuff back in the day. And you can't fault it for trying. If anything, it's vivid. Like... if hallucinogenic mushrooms could take LSD, vivid. And as such, it stuck in the collective psyche's of a generation of impressionable children, myself included. But to watch it again as an adult, you'll find yourself smiling... but for all the wrong reasons. You have to laugh at it, because it's the only way to stop yourself from jamming something sharp in your eye. If you have good memories of watching it, do yourself a favor and let those memories rest in peace. The Neverending Story demands to be blissfully forgotten. And if remembered... to be remembered fondly only in hazy recollections and pop culture throwback humor.
Well, it's been seven months since I set out to teach myself to be ambidextrous. Check out the beginning of my experiment in Part I. During my months of mind and body hacking, I've endeavored to write with my left hand as much as I can remember to. Most of it ended up being during work while waiting for particularly large Photoshop Documents to save (30 minutes for a 4 gig file. Ouch).
But all my hard work has paid off. I can now write comfortably with my non-dominant hand, and legibly as well! At my current level of muscle memory, I can write with my left hand just as quickly with my right with only moderate legibility issues. But if I slow down to about 75% of my right hand's speed, I can make my left handwriting nearly indistinguishable from that of my right. Behold the fruits of my labor:
What you're looking at is one line written by my dominant right hand, and the following four written with my left. It may not look like much improvement compared with that of my first post, but there is a marked increase in the speed with which I can write. As an added bonus, I discovered that I can write with both hands at the same time... which gets trippy when your hands move together most of the time, but cross t's and f's in opposite directions. My brain asplode!
Or perhaps as an alternate title: Kicking iTunes in the iBalls. It's been a long time coming, but I've finally decided to take the plunge and rid myself of the tyranny of Apple software, and with it, the inherent cookie cutter consumerism (read: digital communism) and DRM (digital rights management) restrictions.
Longtime readers may already be aware of my attempts to de-fruitify my iPod shuffle in a previous DIY article. It finally came time to take the battle from hardware to software.
Lets get the facts out of the way. iTunes does a great job of consolidating just about everything music related into one program and interface. But if you want total control of your own music, iTunes becomes more of a brushed steel dungeon than anything else. Perhaps the most unforgivable flaw in the software is its inordinate use of a system's resources to operate (at least, for those of us in the Windows world). When my desktop can run Crysis flawlessly at the highest resolution settings, which, amazingly, looks like this:
...yet still hangs up when scrolling through an iTunes playlist, I know that there's something seriously wrong. My theory? Apple de-optimizes their code for the Windows versions of iTunes. Jerks.
Which brings me to my criteria for what I looked for in an alternative. What I needed was efficient, clean, and customizable software that was light on the system demands. And behold, after much testing and experimentation, here are my picks for anyone wanting to follow down the path of liberation:
Foobar2000 - The Alternative Player
Foobar is an incredibly lightweight and heavily customizable program. And a quick google image search will yield some some outrageously cool downloadable themes. All the internal windows are modular components... so you could, in theory, have a viewer composed of 6 album art screens and nothing else (not that I'd recommend it). Even on my laptop, the program loads up in less than a second. And unlike iTunes, scrolling through playlists happens in real time (on snap!). As an added bonus, you can set your library to mirror your actual directory structure, which means that if you're neurotic about organization (like I am), you can reap the benefits of your OCD-ness from within the program itself. Nice.
Go download Foobar2000 for yourself already.
Windows Media Player - The Alternative Ripper
Really, why mess with success? WMP works just fine at ripping music CD's. And it's a simple matter to set your preferences to automatically tag the files the way you want them tagged. You get this step right, and you'll almost never have to go back and manually tag a track again.
Windows Explorer - The Alternative Tagger
But if you do find it necessary to get under the hood and input or delete some tags, you can use windows explorer to get the job done. Explorer in Vista is a dream when it comes to tag organization, but you can achieve the same result in XP as well. Just right click on the file, go to properties, then the summary tag. Not only can you view the tags, you can edit them as well. If you're looking for a third option, just load up your library from within Foobar itself and right click the song to edit it properties. From there, you should be able to both view and edit your tags.
Amazon.com - The Alternative MP3 Store
People use the iTunes store because it's convenient. But even if you're mostly against buying DRMed content, you can slip up now and again and buy a few tracks here and there. And before you know it, you've salted your music library with tracks that can't be moved, shared, and sometimes, burned (yes, even the brute force burning of DRM files sometimes fails for no reason under iTunes). Really, you should be buying CD's in the first place and ripping them at a high quality, but if you're not much for the "going outside thing," shop at Amazon. DRM free content rocks (and all the cool kids are doing it).
SharePod - The Alternative iPod Loader
So now that you've got your player and library set up, the final program you need is SharePod (Windows only). This free and tiny program can actually be stored on your iPod. Just plug it in, load the program, and you've got a mobile solution for loading files to your iPod. As a bonus, you can actually pull songs off the iPod as well... (a huge limitation when using iTunes). SharePod and Foobar2000 are also fully compatible. You can have both open and just drag and drop from your playlist onto SharePod. You'll be loaded up and good to go in seconds. You should probably download SharePod immediately.
With the addition of these two programs and a bit of effort, I have created a more truly portable music library than I've had in years. I can literally copy both programs and my music onto a USB key, and set up shop on any computer, anywhere I go (in a legal way, of course). No DRM to worry about, and no completely wonky library on reload.
Breathe deep readers. That's the smell of digital freedom.
Everyone loves a good George Lucas bashing right? I'm really no exception to that rule. I rant about it enough in real life, so it only seemed fitting to write up an article about it.
Given that many of us watch the Original Trilogy through coke-bottle-thick rose colored glasses, I still think the OT is pretty groundbreaking. At the end of the day, I have to stand up and attest to the life-changing cinema experience that those three movies represent... all the while acknowledging that they are, still, imperfect.
The New Trilogy takes the old trilogy's imperfections, stuffs them in a moldy potato sack, drop kicks the sack into a barrel of cacti, then sets it ablaze using a combination of napalm and scalding apple pie filling. Oh yeah... then it takes it all out again and smears itself with the molten mess, and proclaims itself to be the most beautiful butterfly. Where to even start with how it went wrong? Others could give you a novel. I've got my own list.
Problem 1: George wrote it. Not only do you get a movie that dumbs itself down to kids, I think it actually made kids who watched it dumber. Yeah, I'm talking to you Episode One. Rumor has it that his kid was responsible for some of the character names. If true, George only made the mistake of accepting said terrible names. And you know what? I kind of hope the rumor's true. Because for a grown man to have thought up Count Dooku, Mace Windu, Qui Gon Jinn (which, honestly, sounds like a kind of fried dumpling) and Jar Jar Binks... well, that's just embarrassing.
Problem 2: Jake Lloyd as Young Anakin. I swear, the only time I saw him in anything good was an Oreo commercial way back when. I know he's supposed to turn evil, but I wanted to punch him in the face (or... as a last resort, my own face) halfway through Episode One. Watching him try and act was more evil than I could take. Talk about the dark side.
Problem 3: Jar Jar Binks. Yikes. Need I say more?
Problem 4: R2D2 far more technologically advanced in the NT versus the OT. R2 always was a bit of dues ex machine. You'd be able to get out of any jam too if you had a galactic swiss army knife following you around. But the NT took it way too far.
Problem 5: Wasted Talent. You've got Liam Neeson, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee and Sam "The Man" Jackson for crying out loud! How hard do you have to try before you're able to ruin the abilities of every single one of these A-List stars?
Problem 6: Too much CG. Would it kill you, George, to have busted out a plastic suit from the old days? The last thing I want to see is a real actor's head superimposed on a CG trooper. I can't even call it laziness, because head replacement/tracking is infinitely more difficult than getting a dude into a costume. No, the operative phrase here is more along the lines of "stunned exasperation."
Problem 7: Midichlorians? Oh come on. This is just sad. J.J. Abrams knows a thing or two about the power of mystery, which is to say that sometimes, not knowing (or never knowing) is a far more powerful thing than the explanation. The Force was crazy cool when we had no idea what it was. Microscopic thingamajigs in the bloodstream (that, sadly, also sound like some kind of pool cleaning detergent)? Great. The Force has been demoted to a hereditary medical condition.
Problem 8: Messing with success. At the very least, it would have been nice if the badness of the NT was put under quarantine, with the OT being allowed visits on the weekends, but only through double glass shields. But alas, no. George had to spread Problem 6 into the OT, resulting in jarring CG and... get this... a full character replacement from David Prowse to Hayden Christiansen at the end of The Return of the Jedi. What? How does that make any sense? The spirits are locked in visually at the ages they were at death right? Some say that Anakin's spirit is young because that's the last time he was good. But wasn't he good just before he died?
I'm not a hardcore Star Wars fan (I tend to lean towards science fiction, as opposed to science fantasy), but I'm really scratching my head at some of this. Is there something I missed? Or does it really not make any sense?
I don't like being overly negative, so I'll wrap this article up with a positive spin. Here are my grand ideas on how George could have made the most stunningly successful prequel trilogy the world has ever seen.
Major Fix 1: Take a page from Episodes 5 and 6, George. Don't direct it, and don't write it (at least not by yourself). Tell people with talent what your outline is, and leave the details in other peoples' capable hands. Stick to producing. It suits you better. Also, find a better casting director who won't hire snotty kids and give every single bad guy an embarrassingly stereotypical minority accent. Heck, that goes even for good guys with terrible accents (Jar Jar).
Major Fix 2: This is the big one. Don't use CG, and don't use visual effects. Yeah, that's right. Defy convention and make the prequels using the same optical effects that you used to create the OT. Crazy? Maybe. Boldly genius? Oh, absolutely. If fanboys stepped into the theater and saw three movies that looked even grungier and more gorilla-film-makery than the OT, they would have flipped their lids, guaranteed. It may have been tougher, and it may have been restrictive, but those restrictions make leaner, better movies. Unlimited excess and zero accountability make for seriously bloated fare. And nobody likes bloated movies... especially if they were a bit soulless to begin with.
And news flash. Han shot first.
Goodness, already on Part V, and still so many mutants to cast! If you're just joining in, here are the links to Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV. For this round, we're going to deal with some of the mutants from Wolverine's world.
X-23 - Eliza Dushku
If you don't know the history, X-23 is an experimental clone that was created from Wolverine's genetic material. Because the Y chromosomes of the sample was damaged, they were forced to duplicate the X, thereby creating a female child clone of Wolverine (on their 23rd attempt). As for trivia, it's interesting to note that the character of X-23 bears the distinction of being one of the only to start on television (in the animated series X-Men: Evolution) and later become a fully realized character in comic form.
In terms of casting, this one was a puzzle. The girl needed to look like an adolescent female version of Hugh Jackman (the current pick for Wolverine), while still looking the part of X-23 and having the ability to play the role. Let's face it, I don't know any girls that look like Hugh. It's weird even trying to picture that. But after considering the circumstances of the cloning project (what, with the duplication of the X chromosomes and all), I think that it's plausible that X-23 could be interpreted as the hyper-feminized version of Wolverine, 100% female with only the most basic of overlapping traits (such as hair color, eye color, etc). With that in mind, I found myself more free to find the most appropriate actress, without killing myself over finding the best visual match.
I found my pick for X-23 after circling back to some previously diqualified candidates. I was looking for someone along the lines of Mila Kunis (if you could make her somehow even the least bit threatening), and was almost dissapointed that I had already used up Alexa Davalos as Kitty Pryde (seeing as her ferocity in The Chronicles of Riddick would have been completely appropriate here). But in the end, it's none other than Eliza Dushku that I feel is most suited for the role.
The best thing Eliza's got going for her (aside from actually looking a lot like X-23) is that she's already played this role in Buffy as the on-again-off-again psycho killer, Faith. As a rogue Slayer, Faith had both the superhuman power, and the serious inner turmoil that drove her to the brink more than a few times. X-23 would require the same, and much more. Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of Eliza, you've got to admit, she's a lock.
Omega Red - Vladimir Kulich
Ever heard the name Vladimir Kulich? Yeah, me neither. Although you might have seen him around a few times without even knowing it. Finding this guy was the result of way too much time meandering through IMDB profiles. But back to the point, Vladimir was born in Czechoslovakia (which might help with the accent work for Omega Red), and has acted in a number of films. Most of them really play up the guy's frame... all 6 feet 5 inches of it. Seriously, the dude's a giant. And that's not bad, because Omega Red is supposed to stand at 6 feet 11 inches (What do they put in the water over there in Russia? Whatever it is, it's working. Colossus and Omega Red? That's just greedy)!
If you want this famous nemesis of Wolverine's to be truly frightening, you're going to want a guy that can put a little fear into you, and after imagining Vladimir in full Omega Red armor, I'm thinking I would pay the price of admission just to see the ensuing carnage.
Sabretooth - Josh Holloway
And lastly, the most famous of all of Wolverine's foes: Sabretooth. Honestly, I think that if you asked a hundred fans who they thought should play Sabretooth, you could get nearly the same amount of different answers. So I had to put some serious filters into place to whittle down the enormous pool of dark action hero types into something more manageable.
First of all, I had to take into account that Sabretooth is not just a one-clash-foe for Wolverine. Even a character like Omega Red doesn't require a great deal of depth to pull off. But Sabretooth has history with Wolverine. Go back far enough, and you find that they knew each other long before they became lifelong enemies.
If Sabertooth was brought to screen, I'd want him to be a fully fleshed out character, starting with the childhood abuse that contributed to his pychopathic sadism. The last thing I want is to cast a wrestler in the role. Granted, they seem to be going with more of a character actor in Liev Schreiber for Sabretooth's role in Wolverine: Origins, but in that case, I think they swung too far to the other end of the spectrum. I mean, seriously... who's afraid of Liev Schreiber? Exactly.
I chose Josh Holloway for a number of reasons. After watching every episode of Lost to date, I'm certain that Josh knows how to do inner conflict. Furthermore, I'm convinced that he can do rage, though they seem to be letting that out sparingly over the run of the show. And while most of the time Sawyer's just a cool, slick talking con-man... the moments when that shell cracks, you see the kind of acting that Sabretooth requires. The other main reason that I chose Josh, was because I can see him as Wolverine's foil (in a literary sense). Sabretooth is everything Wolverine doesn't want to be, yet somehow... is. So my choice reflects my desire to see someone who can hold his own against Hugh. And to me, imagining Hugh Jackman and Josh Holloway battling it out in both a physical and psychological sense just feels right.
That's it for now. Still to come in the future: The Lehnsherr Family Tree, the Brotherhood, and possibly some of the less prominent X-Men.
Awesome Parting Trivia: Every one of the people I've cast here in this article (aside from Hugh Jackman) has guest starred in at least one episode of Angel: Josh Holloway was in the Pilot episode as a vampire that Angel stakes, Eliza Dushku reprises her role from Buffy as Faith (now a somewhat-reformed convict), and Vladimir (under heavy makeup and prosthetics) inhabits the role of the Beast in Season 4! Talk about poaching the entire cast of a show!
And some more pictures of my new holster in action.
